The world is my oyster

I approach raw oysters with a mixture of excitment and trepidation. On one hand, raw oysters seem like a bourgeois delicacy I should appreciate. On the other hand, eating raw food sounds extremely risky. When I was invited to join a road trip to an oyster shop tuck away in Colchester, I was on the fence. But I never say no to a good company.

After about 2 hours drive from London, we arrived at a small town that looks like it has seen better days.

The 'scenary'

The ‘scenary’

The 'scenary'

The ‘scenary’

The 'scenary'

The ‘scenary’

The shop is moderate in size, with about 12 tables or so. For such a secluded area, it was fairly popular - it was completely full by around noon on a Saturday. The place allows you to bring your own booze and bread without any corkage fees, and they provide the seafood and cutleries.

They offer a selection of oysters at different prices. We tried No. 4 and Giga. Although the Giga looks bigger, we all agreed that the No. 4 is tastier.

The No. 4 oyster

The No. 4 oyster

The Giga oysters

The Giga oysters

We also ordered other seafood, because why not.

Prawns

Prawns

Scallops

Scallops

After a feast of 9 oysters each and miscellaneous seafood at the cost of under £23, we drove 2 hours back to London.

The aftermath

If only life consists of just happy endings…

2 days after this incident, a few of us fell ill. That evening, I realized we were most likely poisoned. It starts with fatigue, then bloatedness, and then finally the need to puke it all out. I always thought I had a stomach of a grub, but I was wrong. Thankfully, it came and went quickly. I felt completely weakened that evening, but after several trips to the toilet and a good night’s rest, I was good to go the next day.

Oyster preparation

Being the nerd I am, I read up on oyster poisoning after that incident. The most likely culprit is the virus called norovirus.

In order to reduce the risk of food poisoning, a huge amount of preparation is needed before a shop can be certified to serve these slimy crustation delight. There is even a grading system for it!

Shellfish from an A-grade site are fit for immediate human consumption. A grading of B requires 42 hours of depuration … C means the shellfish must be relaid in cleaner waters and then purged of impurities, and D means that all hope is lost and the beds must be closed until things improve.1

At least the oysters get a luxurious spa treatment before they are consumed by human acid:

Commercial oyster and shellfish harvesters also use a process called depuration. The shellfish are placed in tanks of clean recirculating seawater and are treated with UV irradiation. The oysters purge their contaminants over several days.2

Conclusion

I can’t decide which is the worse between food poisoning and getting a hangover. But I have definitely grown a phobia towards this so called “aphrodisiac”.